"The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible."
-Albert Einstein

The hopeless on my door step

This world makes me sad... we as humans are all so hopeless and so full of fear. the confidence we do gain in life can be so easily stomped on our reputation ruined for no good reason at all. And all because of the way we are taught to think.
Yesterday we were coming back from the store it was probably around 9:00 some kid he looked younger then me came up to the car asking for help. i offered him some food and he said he had plenty of food he has been begging for the past week all he needs is some money he said that he takes what he has and save it for stuff that he would need. i had just a $1.30 on me... i gave it to him and he thanked me and walked away. this whole situation stuck with me for the rest of the night i had a dream about him and still remember how i felt then.
He told us that he had been working for his uncle landscaping then his uncle moved and left him. whether this is true or not i don't know but i saw sincerity in him and even embarrassment in having to actually ask for money... he even said sorry i know how i look.... now we can assume that he was a con man or a drug addict. And yes he can make it to the point where he will be in a better situation. but right there in that moment he was so hopeless and dejected. pulling himself outside of society because he knows that he probably wouldn't be welcome.
I wanted just to tell him to get in the car come home take a hot shower you can sleep on the couch tonight. you can have a glimpse of hope and if not at least a friend. but i stopped myself we stop ourselves.. why? lack of resources,lack of trust in humanity, lack of love, selfishness?
How can i be more like Christ when i ignore the hopeless on my door step.  

i found this and really liked it, I find myself so willing to make excuses for why God can't or won't use me. Whether or not we ask him to God is going to use us to bring glory to his name we are his children. it is when we can admit to being his and see him using us as a joy that we can fully step into the blessing he has for us.  

Jacob was a cheater, Peter had a temper, David had an affair, Noah got drunk, Jonah ran from God, Paul was a murderer, Gideon was insecure, Miriam was a gossiper, Rahab was a harlot, Martha was a worrier, Thomas was a doubter, Sara was impatient, Elijah was moody, Moses stuttered, Zaccheus was short, Abraham was old, and Lazarus was dead.... Now, what's your excuse? Can God use you or not? God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the CALLED!!

He's always been faithful by Sara Groves

Its awesome what God does with us when we allow him to finally move us... it is so painful at times but ultimately so BEAUTIFUL!! So let GO and let God finish the work that he started in you, He is faithful to complete it. i don't want to be caught in complacency or to forget who it is that i am here for.

let go and let God

Its awesome what God does with us when we allow him to finally move us... it is so painful at times but ultimately so BEAUTIFUL!! So let GO and let God finish the work that he started in you, He is faithful to complete it.

times past

I have come to REALIZE how over the past two years all that i have lost has been eating away at me. not that i am not so incredibly thankful and blessed with the family that i now have, its just that the past has been GNAWING at me.. regrets of past relationships that have ended either due to my negligence or just because the season ended.

Some things are unavoidable, people change, CIRCUMSTANCES change, goals and directions... they all change. yet i still feel this aching over what has faded in the distance of time. i know that i can never go back to the way things were and the more i look at how much i have changed and grown for the better i can't say that i would want to yet there are those regrets and also fond memories that i wish i could revisit not to change but just feel again.

I can say without a doubt that i am not the person i once knew... in fact i am trying to figure out once again who i am. i thought that this was a one time situation: i remember the struggles and inner TURMOIL that there was when i was first trying to see who i was, no sooner did i have a grasp on it then everything was turned upside down and somethings vanished all together. i don't laugh or cry like i used to, things that once were to funny aren't anymore, BEAUTY has changed for me, colors are not as bright as they once were. pain has been dulled but so has joy and yet when i look at pictures or catch a faint scent those feelings come back if only for a moment.
now as depressing as this all sounds there is some good to it. i have come to see things in a more realistic light. but ohhhh how i WISH life could be whimsical again i wouldn't have a worry in the world and would be content once more.
what i have found mutes out the cacophony of emotion; the rapture of taking a hold of my husbands hand and knowing that we are ONE learning what it is to love someone beyond anything i could have dreamed, the joy and TREPIDATION of seeing that + sign and knowing that my life has once again been changed forever, the ECSTASY of holding my baby for the first time knowing that i will have her for the rest of my life to love and cherish and nurture, seeing my daughter grow get bumps and bruises and with teary eyes open her arms to me. all of this is what we live for. we truly are but a vapor but we are given the chance to taste so much, how often do we embrace the privilege to walk in the sand where no foot prints have been made.

Grace by laura story

Stephen spoke on Psalm 23 last night and there was a lady there and she made the comment "When David wrote this it wasn't a timid prayer it was a declaration". why do we so often forget this assurance?

The Lord is my Shepard i shall not want.. when i read this i think well actually YES i have been, still am, and probably will be in want tomorrow, so what is David saying?

your mercy is enough so i shall not be in want
You are eternally faithful so i shall not be in want
You are love so i shall not be in want
Your grace is sufficient so i shall not be in want

it comes down to our trust God provides and sustains... He doesn't just arrive last minuet to save the day he is consistently faithful sometimes we are just to worried with our WANTS to see he hands working.

Love Song for a Savior - Jars of Clay

Its a new day. Sundays are always the most crazy day for us, we have a morning church then we have another church within the African community where we teach Sunday school needless to say that isn't the easiest thing for me considering there is a HUGE language . we aren't normally home till around six.
i have to be careful in checking myself on when i start to feel overwhelmed. We aren't supposed to be striving to please others. we are called to serve regardless of how many times we tell the kids.... get off the table, don't throw balls in church, Quit biting you sister, No the crayon goes on the paper on in your mouth!, yes we will be finished soon.
if its not aggravation sometimes that i can feel self-righteousness sneaking in... it is so important to maintain focus on your motives! Why am i acting this way? Am i hearing what is coming out of my mouth? is it something worth while or do i need to be quiet? whether your actions are questionable or not always be aware of why you are doing what you are doing.. this sounds like something that can't escape notice. But if you are anything like me sometimes it is easier to not check yourself.
have a blessed Sunday
Father,
thank you for today, i pray that you will bless all of the churches that are meeting today; some in hiding. thank you that we have the freedom to come to you without fear. Lord please teach me how i can honour you more in my actions help me not to be self righteous or worried what others might think. i want to serve with no strings attached.
Amen
1Co 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Laura Story - Blessings

We have such short sight, so often i have realized i can only see my current situation. its not that i have forgotten what God has done for me i just forget to put it into perspective. sometimes its easier to ignore his open hands than to surrender my desires I want to have open eyes to be able to see what it is that i so often miss.

.

Lord,
I thank you for who you are, that you are faithful and holy and a loving Father. Lord i want to learn to love you more deeply and to learn to wait on you; i want to have open eyes and an open heart to what it is that you want for me. it is so hard to willing unclench my fist. Teach me willingness, reliance, and patience. thank you for your desire to have a relationship with me, i don't want to take that for granted. i pray that i will continue to grow in our love and come to a deeper understanding of who you are.
Amen

Lam 3:22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;

first month

its hard to believe that one month has passed already, it seems like just five min. ago i had a massive stomach and cravings for gummy bears. now i am holding a beautiful baby girl. i still can't believe that i am a mother. i keep praying that i will do well and that i will be someone that she can look up to. I really couldn't ask for more from Stephen he takes her at night so that i can sleep, he will get up with her, change her, and feed her, he does everything and doesn't even complain.
we went to NH a few weeks ago we spent Christmas there, she was just three weeks old. Mom and Dad couldn't get enough of her, not to mention Sarah and the boys we went to the Christmas eve service and Sarah just wanted to show her off. it was scary flying back because i was all alone and i had her car seat with me, my arm was on fire the next day; but it was all worth it.
she is growing up so fast... she's already pushing herself up trying to crawl, she has the sweetest smile! just waiting for her dads dimples to come in. her hair is starting to change to a dark brown, it was black when she was born.. her eyes are lighting up too i think that she will start to see colors and our faces soon. i really couldn't ask for more.
I start school next month. I'm nervous about leaving her, i know that Stephen is more then capable of taking care of her, but a part of me is sad that i won't be around all the time for the first year of her life, i just hope i don't miss her first step or the first time she bops her head. gosh i will miss the majority of her teething.. i can't say that's such a shame..
I didn't think that i could love anyone like this outside of Stephen, it's indescribable i mean there are times when all i want to do is sleep with out interruption but i really do melt when i hear her gurgle or see her smile thank you Lord for this amazing gift.